How to talk to young children about sex

Speaking to young children about sex can feel daunting for the majority of parents and caregivers, however, it’s an essential conversation. It is important to approach the topic with honesty and openness, to lay the groundwork for a healthy understanding of their bodies, relationships, and consent. Using age-appropriate language and creating a safe space for questions can help foster an environment where young children can develop an informed perspective on this important aspect of life.

Make sure you are having age-appropriate conversations

Sex education consists of a series of ongoing conversations that evolves as your child grows rather than a single talk. Discussing sex education early on helps prevent misinformation, supports children in developing a healthy sense of self, and decreases the likelihood of sexual abuse. Children who receive age-appropriate information from a trusted adult or guardian are more likely to make informed decisions and respect their own and others’ boundaries.

When speaking to children about sex education, determining what is age-appropriate is key. Conversations with toddlers and preschoolers should focus on the concepts of boundaries and privacy and the basics of anatomy, using the correct terms for body parts.Educational materials and books designed for children can be useful tools in making these conversations more engaging and comfortable.

For discussions with early elementary-age children, you can introduce more detailed, straightforward explanations about the differences between girls and boys, where babies come from, and the basics of reproduction. Answer any questions honestly, and make sure explanations are appropriate for their developmental stage.

Tips for age-appropriate conversations

Start early: Start by discussing body parts and their functions, using correct names, as soon as children can talk. This helps normalize the conversation and encourages children to ask questions as they grow older.

Answer questions honestly: When children ask questions, provide honest answers without overwhelming them with information. If you’re unsure of the answer, take it as a chance to learn together.

Use everyday moments: Use daily opportunities such as bath time to discuss topics related to bodies, boundaries, and other topics comfortably and without pressure.

Teach consent early: Explain the concept of personal boundaries and consent in simple terms children can understand. It’s crucial to teach them to advocate for themselves and say no to unwanted physical contact.

Encourage open communication: Reassure your child and encourage them to come to you with any questions and reinforce the idea that all topics are welcomed and that you’re there to help them understand.

Use everyday opportunities

Use everyday moments as opportunities to discuss sex and related topics comfortably. Doctor visits, bath time, or occasions when your child expresses curiosity are great times to have informative conversations. Bringing these discussions into everyday life is a gentle way to help a child learn and understand these things.

Create a safe space

The most important aspect of discussing sex education with children is creating an open and safe environment where they feel comfortable asking questions. As a parent, guardian, or trusted adult, it’s crucial for you to encourage curiosity and make it known that talking about their feelings or bodies is completely normal and welcomed. You should respond to their questions with no judgment or embarrassment to foster a sense of openness and trust. If you feel awkward or don’t know the right answer, approach the situation as an opportunity to learn together.

Teach boundaries and consent

It’s crucial to teach children about personal boundaries and consent, starting from a young age. Caregivers should explain the importance of their body belonging to them, their right to advocate for themselves, and their right to say no to any physical contact that makes them uncomfortable. Using simple scenarios is beneficial; it helps them understand how to respect others’ boundaries and assert their own. These conversations should be continuous and should evolve as children grow. Availability and openness ensures that your child feels secure and supported throughout their development.

Percentage of parent views on sex education with children between 5 and 18

(StudyFinds, 2022)

The chart displays the percentages of parents who have already spoken to their children about sex education, parents who plan to bring up sex education in the future, and parents who don’t plan on having the conversation with their children at all.

Address common questions in a straightforward way

Children are naturally curious and may ask questions that seem difficult to answer. Here are some common questions and recommended responses:

• Where do babies come from? “Babies grow inside a place in their mom’s body called the uterus.”
• How do babies get out? “When it’s time for the baby to be born, the mom’s body helps the baby come out through the birth canal or sometimes through a special surgery called a C-section.”
• Why are boys and girls different? “Boys and girls have different body parts but everyone is special and important.”

Conclusion

Talking to young children about sex can be a natural and straightforward process when approached with openness and honesty. By starting these conversations early, using age-appropriate language, and fostering an environment of trust, you empower your children with the knowledge and confidence they need to understand their bodies and relationships. Remember, the goal is to build a foundation of healthy attitudes and behaviors that will serve them throughout their lives. Being a reliable source of information and support will help your children navigate these topics with ease and confidence.

Andrea Cuevas

31 Jul 2024, 4 min read