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Toddler angst: What to do about the Terrible Twos

Toddlers are the cutest – so little yet so full emotions! Unfortunately, these emotions can create struggles for even the best parents and caregivers. The Terrible Twos is a well known phase that the majority of toddlers go through in their early life. We will explore what the Terrible Twos phase is, the symptoms and …

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Toddlers are the cutest – so little yet so full emotions! Unfortunately, these emotions can create struggles for even the best parents and caregivers. The Terrible Twos is a well known phase that the majority of toddlers go through in their early life. We will explore what the Terrible Twos phase is, the symptoms and duration, and tips on getting through it.


Toddler angst: What are the Terrible Twos?


Pixabay / Pexels / “Toddler Sitting While Smiling” / Pexels license

The term “Terrible Twos” is used to describe a developmental phase that many toddlers go through in early childhood, typically around the age of two. During this stage, children experience significant challenging behaviors as part of their cognitive, emotional, and social development. While the term might sound daunting, it’s well-known among caregivers and parents and it is important to understand that this phase is a normal part of growth that reflects a child’s increasing independence and self-awareness.


Why do the Terrible Twos happen?


The term “Terrible Twos”’ was coined because the phase typically begins in children around the age of two. Parents and caregivers often find this stage of their child’s life difficult due to the sudden emergence of tantrums, mood swings, and other challenging behaviors. These behaviors are a result of toddlers testing boundaries and struggling with limited verbal skills to express their needs and frustrations.


The period between the ages of one and three years is the most momentous time in a child’s life,n as they are just starting to walk, talk, and learn about their emotions. Children are naturally curious to explore their environment and may put themselves in situations that can cause frustration. A child of this age is learning new abilities and skills and will naturally want to test them out, especially as they develop more independence.


Symptoms of the Terrible Twos


Cottonbro studio / Pexels / “Girl In Red Dress Playing A wooden Blocks” / Pexels license

The symptoms of the Terrible Twos can vary widely among children, but common behaviors include:


  • Mood swings: Toddlers can experience rapid changes in mood, from happiness to sadness or anger in seconds. This is frequently caused due to lack of control over emotional impulses.
  • Temper tantrums: Intense, frequent, emotional outbursts are often triggered by frustration or the struggle to effectively communicate needs verbally.
  • Increased clinginess: Toddlers can frequently alternate between seeking independence and needing comfort and reassurance from caregivers.
  • Defiance: Toddlers will most likely have a strong impulse to assert independence, leading to refusal to follow instructions.
  • Issues with eating and sleeping: Changes in established sleep patterns and eating habits can result in behavioral shifts.
  • Aggression: Oftentimes toddlers will lash out and express frustration by hitting, biting, or throwing objects.

It’s important to recognize these symptoms and behavioral changes in your toddlers and learn how to properly deal with this new phase.


How long does this phase last?


The duration of the Terrible Twos phase can vary. This phase typically starts around 18 months and potentially lasts until the age of three or four. While some children may outgrow this stage quickly, others might experience these behaviors for a longer period. The intensity and duration depend on the child’s developmental pace and temperament, and the strategies used by caregivers to manage and guide their toddler’s behavior.


How to cope with the Terrible Twos


Taryn Elliott / Pexels / “Photo Of Woman Carrying Child” / Pexels license

Coping with the Terrible Twos requires patience, understanding, and effective caregiving strategies. Here are some tips and guidance to help manage this challenging phase:


Remain calm and patient: Understand that tantrums and behavioral changes are a normal part of development. Stay calm during outbursts and avoid reacting with your own anger or frustration.


Use positive reinforcement: Reward positive behaviors and praise your child when they follow instructions or exhibit good behavior.


Set clear boundaries: When you setting boundaries, consistent rules, and routines, you provide a sense of security for toddlers. Be clear about what behaviors are acceptable and what are not.


Offer choices: Providing toddlers simple choices (e.g., “Do you want the blue cup or the green cup?”) can help them feel a sense of control and reduce resistance.


Redirect attention: When tantrums begin, try to distract your child with a different activity or toy to shift their focus.


Create a safe environment: Ensure that your home is a safe space for exploration and remove potentially dangerous items that could pose a risk during tantrums or outbursts.


Stay consistent: Consistency in responses to behaviors helps toddlers understand consequences. Mixed signals can lead to confusion and more resistance.


Teach emotional expression: Help your toddler learn words to express their emotions. Teaching them simple phrases like “I’m mad” or “I’m sad” can be empowering and very beneficial to them.


Stay connected: Spend quality time with your toddler by offering comfort and affection. Strong emotional bonds can mitigate anxiety and improve behavior.


What percent of tantrums occur during different toddlerhood ages?


18 to 24 months

87%

30 to 36 months

91%

42 to 48 months

59%


Conclusion


The Terrible Twos are a normal part of toddler development, reflecting a child’s growing independence and increasing cognitive abilities. While this phase can be challenging, understanding its underlying causes and implementing effective coping strategies can make it more manageable. With patience, consistency, and positive reinforcement, parents and caregivers can guide their toddlers through this developmental stage, helping them emerge more confident and well-adjusted.


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